Trust This Mr. Knox Wooden Cabinet To Keep Your Socks And Underwear Safe From Burglars


At first glance, the Mr. Knox looks like an old-school safe for storing your precious belongings, complete with an array of visible mechanical gears that make the whole thing look grander than ordinary strongboxes. Except, it’s actually made of wood, so you can just smash it with an axe to get whatever’s inside.

Created by Stephan Siepermann, it’s a wooden cabinet designed to look like a safe, so you can go to sleep at night knowing the socks and underwear you keep inside are secure from the world at large. And, yes, even if it’s just wood, no one will still be interested in your used socks and underwear, so we’re pretty sure they’re 100 percent unlikely to be targeted by even the kind of burglars that make it on a show like World’s Dumbest Criminals.


The Mr. Knox doesn’t actually lock (it doesn’t even have a key), but the mechanical gears in front are all functional, so have to open and close the darn thing by turning them clockwise and counterclockwise, respectively, just like in similar safe mechanisms. Construction is 15mm lacquered peppelplex that’s CNC-cut to ensure the gears fit perfectly together, although you can request different wood types, if you’re willing to shell out the extra cash. Dimensions are 47 x 24 x 18 inches (h x w x d), with two inner shelves (one tall, one short), for hiding your treasures (by treasures, we mean unimportant stuff – put the actual valuables in a real safe).


Available now, the Mr. Knox retails for €999.99. Oh yeah, it ships with one gold bar… made from oakwood.